5 Myths About Intimate Partner Homicide
If you would rather watch/listen than read, you can find the video to this article HERE.
Intimate partner homicide... We've been talking about it the last two weeks in some form or fashion. A couple of weeks ago, I put out a video as a tribute and a memorial to women who have been killed by intimate partners or ex-intimate partners in 2020. You can check that out HERE.
In the last article, I gave 12 risk factors/red flags that will let you know that your life is potentially in danger from an intimate partner. You can check out that video HERE.
In this article, we're going to go over 5 myths about intimate partner homicide.
Myth #1 - intimate partner homicide is a crime of passion. If you watch movies and tv shows, they suggest that the person was so in love that they just couldn't help themself. They had this moment of rage and passion and they lost their mind temporarily. Temporary insanity, right? ...They don't know what they're doing. That is not true.
Actually, intimate partner homicide is a crime of possession, not a crime of passion. Intimate partner murder is generally premeditated. It's not done in the heat of the moment. If it does occur during an argument, they had already decided that it was ok to kill their significant other before that. (For example, he came to talk to his ex-girlfriend and ended up shooting her after an argument broke out, but he brought the gun to her house. He was already ok with it.)
It's a crime because people, men historically, don't believe that the woman is valuable at all. Her life is not valuable. Her comfort is not valuable. Her safety is not valuable. (In these types of relationships. Not in general.) So what's the point, he thinks. He owns her. This is a crime of possession.
Myth #2 - Women who are killed by intimate partners don't reach out for help. That is false. A study whose findings were published by the National Institute of Justice says that they're actually more likely to have reached out for help. They came to the conclusion in that study that when women are reaching out for help because they're scared it's actually an indicator that they're in more danger.
For example, you have two women who are both having a crap beat out of them. The one that reaches out for help is more likely to be dead than the one that is not. The researchers believe that means that if the women reach out for help, it's because they know that they're in more dire danger. That's very possible, because the number one sign that you're in danger for intimate prior homicide is that you're afraid for your life (that you believe you're in danger of intimate partner homicide).
Myth #3 - Intimate partner murder is always preceded by physical abuse. A lot of times it is, but it's not always. According to the National Institute for Justice's Journal, a partner's extreme jealousy has been the cause of 40% of intimate partner homicides where there was no violence before. If you read that article on iph red flags (or watched the video) you know that if the person highly ties their identity to you and they lose you, that's an excellent recipe for intimate partner homicide. In fact, that's usually when where the murder-suicides come from. It's from that loss of identity that one partner feels when they lose the relationship. Those people aren't necessarily ever violent beforehand.
Myth #4 - Guns kill people. Wrong. Well, I mean right, but wrong. People kill people. While it is true that if your abuser has access to a gun, you are actually 500% more likely to die at their hands. (Be aware of that! That is significant!) Nobody is knocking the significance there, but I want you to know that when strangulation (choking) happens, you are 750% more likely to die at their hands. Whether you die that time or you're gonna die in the future, when they go to that route - when they put their hands on you and are choking you - that is your last last step before death. If you survive at that time, you will not survive in the future if you don't get away.