• April Hardy

What does Gaslighting Sound Like?

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that sows seeds of doubt into a person, making them question their own memory, perceptions, and sanity. It's done to control you. Over time, it is the most effective tool against intuition that I am aware of.


What does it sound like?


"I don't want to hear this from you again."

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

"It didn't happen that way. This is what happened..."

"You're imagining things again."

"Your friend _____ is putting more crazy ideas in your head.'

"You get upset over the littlest things."

"You're too sensitive."

"I never said that."

"I didn't hit you."

"I just squeezed your arm a little too hard."

"I'm not cheating on you. You're probably cheating on me!"


Many times they will lie straight to your face. You will know that they're lying and at first you might call them on it. but they will insist that their version of it is true until you start to wonder if it really is.


Some red flags to notice within yourself that might mean someone significant to you has been Gaslighting you:

  • Do you constantly second guess yourself?

  • Do you often wonder if you're too sensitive?

  • Do you have trouble making even simple decisions for yourself? (I used to ask people's advice about everything because I was afraid to make decisions on my own. I thought I was terrible at it.)

  • Do you know that something is wrong, but you can't quite put your finger on it?

  • Do you know that you used to be a different person, more confident, relaxed, even more fun before your current relationship?

Note: Not only romantic partners use Gaslighting. I have seen controlling parents use it very effectively on their kids as well. Unfortunately, if you do have an abusive/controlling parent who used this tactic on you, you have been primed to endure it from a romantic partner as well.

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